Me trying to outrun my responsibilities.
4 months ago
Me and the boys eliminating the problem ðŸ—ŋ
4 months ago
When you're with Minnie and Donald walks in 👁👄👁
4 months ago
*Sees bus ad about sexual assault* Me: I understand this is a serious issue. My brain: So you're saying it *doesn't* happen anywhere else? ðŸĪ”
4 months ago
When someone tells me people make them sick, I just nod and suggest a pressure cooker and a good Chianti 🍷
4 months ago
Savage Level: Expert 😂
4 months ago
Eric Cartman's Guide to Roasting Your Friends (South Park Edition) 😂
4 months ago
When politeness meets paranoia 😂. It's a 'thank you,' not a declaration of war! #overthinking
4 months ago
Me and the boys about to become a smoothie. 💀
4 months ago
When your flight instructor says "practice your emergency landings anywhere" 💀✈ïļðŸŠĶ
4 months ago
Immigrants are like sperm. Millions get in, but only one works. 😂
4 months ago
Making jokes about dead babies = bad. Actually making dead babies = okay. ðŸĪ” So, what's the difference again? 💀
4 months ago
When you want to set the expectations straight from the beginning 😂
4 months ago
Me, an atheist, petting the tiger: 'Sup, stripes?'🐅
4 months ago
When you want a free ride home but can't afford a taxi 😂🚓
4 months ago