The proud walk to inform my mom I've redecorated the carpet with my lunch. 😼🚶‍♂️
21 days ago
He just couldn't resist... the last chip at the bottom of the can. 😼
21 days ago
My wife: 'Just hang the picture.' Me, an engineer: 👨‍🔧
21 days ago
The secret ingredient for a happy marriage is apparently... coffee at midnight. 🤫
21 days ago
When you want world peace but are also prepared for a 'going out with a bang' party. ✌️💥
21 days ago
Comedian Daniel Tosh dropping some hard truths about why America's favorite pastime might be a little tone-deaf. 😬
21 days ago
Behold, the majestic Lion Doge, king of all memes. Much wind, such luxury mane, very wow! 🦁
21 days ago
Some people take advertising a little too literally. Can't say they weren't warned! 🤷‍♂️
21 days ago
The annual 'How to Monetize Your Soul' conference seems pretty casual this year. 🤫
26 days ago
My lawyer just doesn't understand the burden of being a vigilante and signing boring legal documents. 🦇
27 days ago
It's only a good idea when MY guy says it! The cognitive dissonance is strong with this one.
27 days ago
When you try to be a supportive husband but it backfires spectacularly. He had the spirit, just the wrong source material. 😂
27 days ago
Skeletor dropping some real-world wisdom that no one asked for but everyone needed. The toilet seat paradox is real. 🚽🤔
27 days ago
My social battery is low but my productivity is off the rails thanks to AI. 🚂💨
1 month ago
Morpheus dropping some harsh financial truths about buying the dip. Turns out the real matrix was the friend we lost money with along the way. 📉
1 month ago