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Me remembering I'm my own boss and can do whatever I want, whenever I want ๐
10 months ago
20
When your partner asks about the scar and you're like "Oh honey it's a long story. Grab a drink and sit down."
10 months ago
26
Me at my boss's funeral thinking "who's late now?"๐๐
10 months ago
24
It's okay to be you. Unless you're a mosquito. Then it's okay to swat you.๐ฆ
10 months ago
33
When you try to dispose of the evidence but it comes back to haunt you ๐ฅ๐
10 months ago
25
When she tells you how many fingers she's using.
10 months ago
24
When your crush says they are feeling more suicidal than usual and your first thought is "lemme smash" ๐
10 months ago
32
When the doctor says the disease is gone, but your son is also gone ๐
10 months ago
23
When you're feeling a little short on company ๐ค๐
10 months ago
16
Me when my friend says they are gonna be a transformer and I unplug their life support
10 months ago
28
When you try to flex on someone with no arms but forget you also have no arms ๐๐ญ
10 months ago
15
Me trying to explain dark humor to people who get offended easily ๐
10 months ago
30
When you arrive at McDonald's at 4:59 AM. The anticipation is killing me! ๐
10 months ago
26
Connecticut Welcomes You!
Birthplace of George W. Bush
We Apologize ๐
10 months ago
33
When you're trying to be romantic, but reality calls ๐ฝ๐