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When you get a new MacBook for Christmas and all you do is Facebook๐. Guess what? It's a $2000 Facebook machine now๐.
3 months ago
When you gotta go, you gotta go. Even if it means your buddy has to hold the urinal for you. ๐ฝ๐ #vintagevibes #70sfashion #publicrestroomproblems
3 months ago
When you come home high at 3 AM and accidentally ring the doorbell ๐๐คฆโโ๏ธ
3 months ago
Me trying to get life advice from a magic 8 ball ๐๐
3 months ago
When your coworker is more offended by "God damnit" than by the R-word ๐
3 months ago
That's one way to blow bubbles. ๐
3 months ago
When you and the squad try to "Be Different" but end up looking exactly the same ๐
3 months ago
Europeans calculating how much to tip at a restaurant ๐
3 months ago
When you see Medusa at a party but you're already stoned๐ฟ๐
3 months ago
When your partner says they like toys in the bedroom, but you're on different wavelengths ๐
3 months ago
Me trying to tell my boss I deserve a promotion and he hits me with, "We'll spreadsheet about it."
3 months ago
When you're worried about calories but your doctor gives you some *interesting* medical advice ๐
3 months ago
Me, bored out of my mind, gaslighting some ants in my kitchen ๐
3 months ago
"Am I the only one you've ever been with?"
"Yes. All the others were nines or tens."
Me: ๐ I guess a solid 7 ain't so bad after all. #SolidSeven
3 months ago
She's about to enter a whole new dimension of disappointment ๐