Me: *hands cashier wasp spray* Is this good for wasps? Cashier: *scanning* No, it kills them. ๐Ÿ˜‚
21 days ago
If you know 5 people without problems, I NEED their numbers. Asking for a friend.
21 days ago
Colombian protestor activates his shield and becomes Captain South America. He is now ready to fight for his beliefs ๐Ÿ›ก๏ธ๐Ÿ‡จ๐Ÿ‡ด
21 days ago
Me trying to convince my grandpa to go at least the speed limit ๐Ÿ˜ˆ
21 days ago
When you call the addiction helpline for cocktail recipes ๐Ÿน
21 days ago
Me ignoring all the red flags๐Ÿšฉ because he's cute ๐Ÿ˜‚
21 days ago
Me trying to figure out if my $7.17/month girlfriend subscription includes benefits๐Ÿ˜‚
21 days ago
Finally, a plumber who understands the concept of "anytime after 5:00 p.m. on a weekday" ๐Ÿ˜‚
21 days ago
When you and your mini-me match so hard, a DNA test is just a formality. ๐Ÿ˜‚
21 days ago
Emily may have only 5 followers, but she has the support of the entire Galactic Empire. She's about to execute Order 66 on those who disagree with her.
21 days ago
When life gives you lemons, dilute them for maximum profit or just use something else entirely. It's called capitalism, look it up
21 days ago
WWI & WWII: Bombs away! ๐Ÿ’ฃ. WWIII: Syringes away! ๐Ÿ’‰. They don't make wars like they used to. Now we fight with vaccines instead of bombs. Stay woke. ๐Ÿ‘€
25 days ago
Me pretending to be productive ๐Ÿ˜‚. So relatable it hurts!
25 days ago
When she wants the R8, but your bank account says 'salami and bologna special' ๐Ÿ˜‚
25 days ago
"Woke up dead" ๐Ÿ’€ has way more dramatic flair than "died in their sleep" ๐Ÿ˜ด
25 days ago