From cake to flushed real quick ๐Ÿšฝ๐Ÿฐ๐Ÿ˜‚
4 months ago
Finally, a self-help book for every man's mid-life crisis ๐Ÿ˜‚. Just remember, honesty is the best policy... unless you're fluent in Thai and can convince your wife it's a cooking class. ๐Ÿ‡น๐Ÿ‡ญ
5 months ago
Me praying to God for the perfect man, knowing damn well I'm gonna friendzone him the second he shows interest ๐Ÿ˜‚ #FriendzoneChronicles
5 months ago
She said: "It's me or the beer!" Anyway...๐Ÿบ
5 months ago
Me pretending I'm loyal when in reality I'm just ugly ๐Ÿ˜ญ๐Ÿ˜‚
5 months ago
Me hiding the engagement ring somewhere in the house so she won't find it before I propose. ๐Ÿ˜‚
5 months ago
He cheated, so she gave him a "shitty" surprise ๐Ÿ’ฉ ๐Ÿ˜‚
5 months ago
When your marketing team understands the assignment ๐Ÿ˜‚
5 months ago
When she's 5'0 and he's 6'10, it's not a relationship, it's a long-distance communication ๐Ÿ˜‚
5 months ago
When your ex gained weight after breakup and you are like: Nailed it! ๐Ÿ˜‚
5 months ago
When you confess your love and they take it as a band recommendation ๐Ÿ˜‚
6 months ago
And then I said: "I don't care how much money you have, I love you for who you are!"
6 months ago
Her: Why did we need radios, our relationship is over. Him: Building his cardboard fort of solitude. Our relationship is what? Over.
6 months ago
When your liberal minded lesbian neighbors ask for your help conceiving a child "the old fashioned way" and you've been trying to knock them up for 6 months after getting a vasectomy last year ๐Ÿ˜ฌ
6 months ago
Me trying to figure out if my $7.17/month girlfriend subscription includes benefits๐Ÿ˜‚
6 months ago