My wife and I keep "trying" for a second child ๐Ÿ˜‚. Little does she know, my secret vasectomy was the best gift I ever gave myself ๐Ÿคซ.
1 month ago
When she says she's wrong but you still feel the tension ๐Ÿค”
1 month ago
When she's acting up but she also IS your phone๐Ÿ“ฑ๐Ÿคฆโ€โ™€๏ธ
1 month ago
Me pretending to be interested in someone's hobbies so they'll go out with me ๐Ÿ˜‚
1 month ago
When 'serving salad' takes on a whole new meaning... ๐Ÿฅ’๐Ÿฅ—๐Ÿ˜‚
1 month ago
Love's a wild ride ๐ŸŽข, buckle up!
1 month ago
When oops feels different depending on who's oopsing ๐Ÿ˜‚
1 month ago
When love comes with lasagna and protein bars โค๏ธ๐Ÿ•๐Ÿ’ช
1 month ago
When 'pumpkins' turns into 'panic' real quick ๐ŸŽƒโžก๏ธ๐Ÿ˜ฑ
1 month ago
Jennifer's rollercoaster of emotions in 60 seconds ๐Ÿ˜‚. From "Will you marry me?" to "You have 6 days to move out!" This is one wild ride! ๐ŸŽข
1 month ago
When you hire your neighbor to impregnate your wife 72 times and find out BOTH of you are shooting blanks ๐Ÿ˜‚. Guess who's getting sued? It's not the stork! #NeighborlyLoveGoneWrong
2 months ago
She told me we couldn't afford beer anymore, so I asked her how come she gets to spend $65 on makeup. I'm pretty sure beer goggles do the same thing ๐Ÿคทโ€โ™‚๏ธ
2 months ago
When your inner critic is the loudest influencer ๐Ÿง ๐Ÿ’”
2 months ago
When your heart writes a novel but their response is just one chapter ๐Ÿ“–๐Ÿ’”๐Ÿ˜‚
2 months ago
Good: Telling him over a romantic dinner. ๐Ÿฅฐ Bad: Whispering it during your wedding vows. ๐Ÿ˜ฌ
2 months ago