Me to the weather app: "You said it would stop raining!". Weather app: "I lied."
10 months ago
47
Obi-Wan is having too much fun for a day that will live in infamy. ๐
10 months ago
47
Me pretending to care while my grandma is dying but I have a physics midterm tomorrow ๐ญ
10 months ago
47
US Aerospace Stocks watching Boeing and F-35 crash news like ๐
10 months ago
47
When you're the only one in your friend group who knows how to use a mirror.
9 months ago
47
Me after a first date explaining to her the intricacies of the lizard people controlling the world's banking systems, even though I know there won't be a second date. At least she knows the truth now.
9 months ago
47
When the Constitution only has room for lawyers ๐๐ฉบ
8 months ago
47
When you crash the Jedi afterlife party uninvited ๐ ๐ป #SorryYounglings
8 months ago
47
When 'I'm here for the wings' becomes a home delivery service ๐๐โค๏ธ
8 months ago
47
When your superpower is infinite tolerance ๐ธ๐ชโจ #CaptainSweden
8 months ago
47
Welcome home! I've prepared a surprise for you in the hallway. It's not a good surprise. ๐ฉ
8 months ago
47
When you have to raise a barn at 9 but need to send a message at 8:45. ๐ฅ
7 months ago
47
Well, you can't argue with that logic. ๐คทโโ๏ธ
6 months ago
47
The most important step to success is always the last one on the list.
6 months ago
47
My music taste ranges from 18th-century sea shanties to death metal to anime openings. The Spotify algorithm is working harder than my therapist. ๐ค๐ฅ