Metropolitan Police: "There's no way we're letting you use our quote." Banksy: *proceeds to make it the book cover* ๐
1 year ago
207
Me pretending I ran a marathon after 5 minutes of sex so my partner doesn't think I'm unfit ๐
1 year ago
207
Steve Jobs: "Remember when I died and people treated me like a god?"
Bill Gates: "Yeah, well I'm eradicating malaria and donating 90% of my wealth and people just call me rich. So...yeah, f*** you Steve."
1 year ago
207
When you challenge Avril Lavigne to a 1v1๐ but then she drops her hit single "Girlfriend" and steals your girl mid-game ๐
1 year ago
207
Me trying to convince myself that the fan is a heartbeat and I'm not just lonely ๐ญ
1 year ago
207
Me trying to explain to someone why I put ice in my water ๐
1 year ago
207
When you're a tech guy at a strip club and trying to decide which OS is the best
1 year ago
207
When someone tells you that the rain is bad weather, but you live in a drought-stricken region ๐
1 year ago
207
Netflix, you've got some explaining to do. Recommending "The Human Centipede" after "A Bug's Life"? ๐โก๏ธ๐ฑ Kids, avert your eyes! This ain't no sequel.
1 year ago
207
Chris learned the hard way, never trust a smiling sun ๐. SPF 10000 or bust!
1 year ago
207
When the Jedi master's got jokes... even Yoda can't handle it! ๐๐งโโ๏ธ
1 year ago
207
When 'I'm here for the wings' becomes a home delivery service ๐๐โค๏ธ
1 year ago
207
Engineers, get ready for your new overlord. It's programmed to ask for status updates every 5 minutes. ๐ค
4 months ago
207
The ultimate get-rich-quick scheme. The secret ingredient is rejection. ๐ธ
3 months ago
207
When you realize movie posters have a 'type'. It's called propaganda, but we just call it patriotism. ๐