Me to the weather app: "You said it would stop raining!". Weather app: "I lied."
Me to the weather app: "You said it would stop raining!". Weather app: "I lied."
10 months ago
47
Obi-Wan is having too much fun for a day that will live in infamy. ๐Ÿ˜”
10 months ago
47
Me pretending to care while my grandma is dying but I have a physics midterm tomorrow 😭
Me pretending to care while my grandma is dying but I have a physics midterm tomorrow ๐Ÿ˜ญ
10 months ago
47
US Aerospace Stocks watching Boeing and F-35 crash news like 👀
US Aerospace Stocks watching Boeing and F-35 crash news like ๐Ÿ‘€
10 months ago
47
When you're the only one in your friend group who knows how to use a mirror.
When you're the only one in your friend group who knows how to use a mirror.
9 months ago
47
Me after a first date explaining to her the intricacies of the lizard people controlling the world's banking systems, even though I know there won't be a second date. At least she knows the truth now.
Me after a first date explaining to her the intricacies of the lizard people controlling the world's banking systems, even though I know there won't be a second date. At least she knows the truth now.
9 months ago
47
When the Constitution only has room for lawyers 😂🩺
When the Constitution only has room for lawyers ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿฉบ
8 months ago
47
When you crash the Jedi afterlife party uninvited 😅👻 #SorryYounglings
When you crash the Jedi afterlife party uninvited ๐Ÿ˜…๐Ÿ‘ป #SorryYounglings
8 months ago
47
When 'I'm here for the wings' becomes a home delivery service 🍗🚗❤️
When 'I'm here for the wings' becomes a home delivery service ๐Ÿ—๐Ÿš—โค๏ธ
8 months ago
47
When your superpower is infinite tolerance 🇸🇪✨ #CaptainSweden
When your superpower is infinite tolerance ๐Ÿ‡ธ๐Ÿ‡ชโœจ #CaptainSweden
8 months ago
47
Welcome home! I've prepared a surprise for you in the hallway. It's not a good surprise. 💩
Welcome home! I've prepared a surprise for you in the hallway. It's not a good surprise. ๐Ÿ’ฉ
8 months ago
47
When you have to raise a barn at 9 but need to send a message at 8:45. 💥
When you have to raise a barn at 9 but need to send a message at 8:45. ๐Ÿ’ฅ
7 months ago
47
Well, you can't argue with that logic. 🤷‍♂️
Well, you can't argue with that logic. ๐Ÿคทโ€โ™‚๏ธ
6 months ago
47
The most important step to success is always the last one on the list.
The most important step to success is always the last one on the list.
6 months ago
47
My music taste ranges from 18th-century sea shanties to death metal to anime openings. The Spotify algorithm is working harder than my therapist. 🤖💥
My music taste ranges from 18th-century sea shanties to death metal to anime openings. The Spotify algorithm is working harder than my therapist. ๐Ÿค–๐Ÿ’ฅ
6 months ago
47