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When people try to roast you but you take it as a compliment ๐
1 year ago
131
Me trying to convince myself I'm not horny: "I don't want sex, I just want to cuddle"
My penis: "Yes, cuddle aggressively" ๐
1 year ago
74
When your Battlestation thread gets derailed by dolls ๐
1 year ago
83
This Halloween, we're going as my biggest regrets. ๐
1 year ago
85
When your website is down, call the URLologist! ๐
1 year ago
75
Me after my nap asking my roommate if they were the one who drew a mustache and beard on me with sharpie and glued pubes on my face: ๐
1 year ago
105
Me when the cookies are done and I have no oven mitts. ๐ฅ๐
1 year ago
123
One leads to violence, rape and stupidity, the other...to excessive laughing.๐ค๐
1 year ago
135
Apple: We totally invented "slide to unlock" ๐
1 year ago
120
When you're trying to set a new PR, but your spotter is a toddler.๐ถ๐๏ธโโ๏ธ #NoExcuses
1 year ago
121
When Dexter organizes an event for people who can't come, it's gonna be a... dry run. ๐ฆ๐
1 year ago
123
I followed this recipe to make rice krispies treats. They look easy enough to make, even I can't mess this up. ๐
1 year ago
131
Grandma complaining about technology and the newest generation of gamers and then that same gamer playing COD and talking trash ๐
1 year ago
69
Shooting your shot and accidentally hitting your crush's sister ๐
1 year ago
153
Me trying to be mature and break up with someone nicely vs. me 5 minutes later realizing they don't care ๐