Me pretending to know the code for dragon fruit when it doesn't scan so the cashier thinks I'm a grocery store genius 😂
2 days ago
Why are the pyramids still in Egypt?🤔 It's simple: Even the British Museum couldn't handle such a BIG souvenir. 😂
2 days ago
Me trying to explain to my dentist why I haven't flossed in a week 😂
2 days ago
To have kids or not to have kids. That is the $18.75 question 🤔. Choose wisely, choose Trojans.
2 days ago
STOP VEGANS BEFORE IT'S TOO LATE. What's next? Mountain goats?
2 days ago
I guess this jigsaw puzzle isn't suitable for vegetarians after all 😂
2 days ago
This lettuce expires on *which* Monday?! What if I need to eat it on *every* Monday?! 😩
2 days ago
Spotted a man bun in the wild? Instantaneously transforms into a walking, talking trash bag emoji 🥷😂
2 days ago
My internet when I'm trying to watch Breaking Bad and an ad starts playing 😂
2 days ago
Me trying to carefully approach my wife after I left the toilet seat up.
3 days ago
People who take care of chickens are literally chicken tenders 😂. I guess that makes her the Chick-fil-A CEO.
3 days ago
When your girlfriend's solo pics get way more likes than your couple pics, but you know the real ones are coming to the wedding 😂
3 days ago
Me trying to find the end of the packing tape.
3 days ago
Me trying to figure out why my clothes shrink in the dryer: 🧐
3 days ago
Evil-Lyn: "A woman's intuition is never wrong!" Skeletor: "Way too many single mothers for this to be true."
3 days ago