Romans were building roads to last millennia, my city builds them to last until the next election cycle. ๐คฆโโ๏ธ
9 months ago
268
When life gets tough, you need a real friend. Broccoli just isn't it. ๐ป
6 months ago
268
That's one way to enjoy a watermelon ๐๐
1 year ago
267
What's up, Doc? Oh nothing, just taking a leak. Don't make it weird. ๐ฐ๐ฝ
11 months ago
267
Shoutout to the original mystical land pirates who navigated with paper maps to deliver pizza in 30 minutes. The original gig economy heroes! ๐๐บ๏ธ
6 months ago
267
A simple tl;dr of the Epstein files: It's just carrots on sticks all the way down, leading straight to Hell. ๐
5 months ago
267
When your comebacks are top-tier ๐๐ฅ
1 year ago
266
The sloth is ready to make some celestial changes! ๐๐
11 months ago
266
Mao Zedong's guide to fine dining: "A dog that barks is not cooked well." I guess silence is golden... and delicious? ๐ค
1 year ago
265
The look on Batman's face says it all. He's this close to finding a new Robin. ๐คฆโโ๏ธ
5 months ago
265
Me pretending to be asleep when my nieces and nephews come over ๐ #silenceisgolden
1 year ago
262
When you realize your vodka isn't making it through security so you start offering shots at 7:30 am. TSA is not impressed ๐
1 year ago
262
When your ex gained weight after breakup and you are like: Nailed it! ๐
1 year ago
262
The 9-to-5 grind is looking real silly right about now. ๐ฅฒ
10 months ago
262
They really don't make them like they used to. I want a fridge that will outlive me and my future grandkids. ๐ค